Not sure who started that idea, the ‘ideal’ expectations we have for things and the management they require.
My mother, a nursery and NICU nurse for 25 years, told me about the “Gerber baby” syndrome. Sometimes people expect a “Gerber” perfect baby and sadly blame themselves, or look for others to blame or fix it, when things don’t go ‘perfectly’ as promised in the brochure of life. Somehow it’s gone from the simple wish of ‘hoping and praying for a healthy baby’ to the full expectation of such.
I don’t have kids, but I thought of this as an example of our high (sometimes unrealistic) expectations, perhaps in a dichotomy with our fear of failure.
Perfection or Failure, nothing else?
When did tragedy or even a bump in the road turn into a ‘failure’ by default? When did one mistake become a firable offense?
Something has happened as we try to orchestrate the perfect experience, exceed all expectations in that we’ve lost the acceptance and/or the apprecaition of failure, of what it can teach us. Any non-runaway success is deemed a failure no matter if it is or not.
A good movie does OK at the box office, yet doesn’t break records; but it failed even though it maybe launches careers and becomes a cult favorite. A long-term relationship doesn’t work out, both parties split amicably and for the better, but it’s a failure because it didn’t last in cliched “Hollywood forever” fashion. Apple isn’t Apple unless it’s the next iPhone or iPad every time.
Read a post that quoted a Disney seminar about how Disney World doesn’t sell vacations, they sell experiences and memories and they don’t want anything to hurt that.
Really, one longish line or one off dinner would ruin a vacation? Those experiences are subjective; I know that a 35-minute wait for Test Track is nothing, much less during peak season. Sorry but I don’t ding the tip on my server just because one Coke refill took an extra minute, pretty much any restaurant.
Lessons yet to be learned
Goals are good, big aspirations are worth striving to achieve but we have to stop blaming ourselves or assigning failures to everything. Mistakes happen, tragedies are terrible, the world is not always a perfect place.
This post has asked more questions because frankly I don’t have the answers. Why? I’m still learning. No I haven’t figured out where my biting fish are, yes I struggle just as much as the next person.
You can do everything right yet things will still go wrong. It doesn’t mean you failed. FWIW.