Blogging the Great Debate. Should I call bullshit?

Been reading the likes of Mitch Joel, Gini Dietrich, Danny Brown for a while. Lots of discussion on commenting and community, echoey chambers and debate.

Mark W. Schaefer took a look at his post comments and found that we’re not a bunch of sycophants and ass kissers; plenty of folks disagree with him. As they should. (Just kidding Mark.)

The Exceptional Debate

Last week Marcus Sheridan called bullshit on some BlogWorld hypocrisy. Folks REALLY disagreed and debated; some of the most respectful, intelligent, witty and engaged discussion you’re likely to read.. some 350 comments strong. Why? Because as Jayme Soulati puts it, his blog community makes commenters feel comfy.

Not every post is as hot-button as a debate on Twitter snobbery or blog title censorship, so they’re not all gonna fan the flames and get folks aTwitter; posts like this are the exception.

Do you Disagree?
someecards.com - I only disagree with people when I'm right, which explains why I'm always disagreeing with people.

Paul Wolfe wants to stop the Comment love-ins. “By not posting my disagreements, I’m not only being dishonest with myself.  I’m also not contributing to others.

Bill Dorman asked if someone writes a stinker of a blog post, do we say so? “Your esteemed group is thinking ‘what is that smell’, but these are all your buds, they don’t want to call you out; they are too polite.

I tell you what I think.. but I gotta admit, I don’t always disagree or call out a ‘bad’ post. When I do disagree, I ease into it with what I do agree then some sort ‘variable mileage’ fence sitting.

Why do I sometimes pull my punches?

  • I like my friends. They’re nice, they’re fun, their as apt to have an off post as am I.
  • I like my friends’ influence. A good RT of one of my posts might get me a few extra views and comments, not that I’m counting.
  • Confidence and experience. Be nice to have some and while I’m fairly smart, I don’t thave the wealth of experience that many of my fellow debaters do. Fear of writing something epically lame, you’d think I’d be over that.
  • I don’t know or care or can’t decide. If it doesn’t move my furniture, no need to mix it up. Rants aside, confrontation is not in my nature.
  • I’m not the boss of you. (Though really, I should be.) I am the last person to appreciate others telling me how to do something, so I try not to presume or go visiting their intentions either.
  • Can’t construct a contribution. That’s the biggie, when I can’t word my dissent into something helpful, something that adds value more than, “that sucked.”

Do you put up or shut up? What keeps you from disagreeing in comments, calling out a bad post?

Photo credit: May I never run out of Someecards.

Comments (59) | Trackback

59 Responses to “Blogging the Great Debate. Should I call bullshit?”

  1. I personally enjoy comment bombing, but when it turns into just a single, unheard, un-cared-about shout into the ether, then… I start cutting back. Of course there are those posts where what I do is just go Anonymous and let it all out ;), and I feel better, you know? It’s “There, I said it, and no one can get me back for it,” lol. But that’s only on those sites where no one appears to care in any case. I’d never do that here, promise!
    Shakirah Dawud recently posted..Answering The Pesky Question of Who Your Business Is

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    Trust me, I notice when my comments are routinely ignored. As for anonymous, I’ve got my secret Twitter for random comments but it’s for off-topic, personal fun stuff. ;-)

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  2. As to writing a post that gets people one way or another, yes, I’ve been seeing that a lot recently around here. I think what makes those kinds of posts “good” in terms of setting off lively discussion are the existing openness factor and the tone of the post, but mostly, it’s the strength of the opinion’s facts or lack thereof. A rant, as I said earlier, is always so much fun because you seriously can get all emotional and beside yourself and it really doesn’t matter what the facts are. But picking a side and sticking with it means research and experience, and I think often I’m afraid I don’t have enough! And that’s what keeps my mouth shut even when I do have an opinion, being afraid of being called on the empty shack where knowledge ought to have been built on some issues. I recognize when my opinions are simply the opinions of people I admire and whose experience I trust, but I try to be careful not to just parrot those (however tempting).

    And then there are the posts that just aren’t any good. I tend to bury them under the heap of good ones when they come from blogs I otherwise admire. No, it won’t get a comment from me, and if I feel compelled to correct a fact or two, I tend to do it in private. A tweep I follow and often retweet once tweeted a recommendation of a marketing tool I–and several others including a more widely known gadget reviewer–had had bad experiences with, resulting in a retraction of a previously good review from the famous lady. It was practically a scam. So I DMed her with that information, only to find she’d just written a good review on her blog for them. I’d never call her out on her blog for that, because it’s entirely up to her, depending on her experience, to retract or stand behind it.

    And then there are the posts that are opinionated, but they’re for “causes,” which may bring people out of the woodwork to comment for or against. Those are fine, but as you said, personal bias can get in the way when reacting to comments that disagree, so we may have to be careful when we write about things that are truly close to our hearts, but that not everyone agrees with. I’m thinking about a post like that, myself.

    So, like everyone, I enjoy posts that are opinionated–as long as they share my opinion. The ones that don’t need to be really compelling for me to even continue reading. To draw a comment, there has to be the right vibe present, the trust factor present, because those futile “I came, I saw, I left graffiti on your wall” comments we all see on news sites and Pro- and CopyBlogger are what kept me from building a blog for a couple years!
    Shakirah Dawud recently posted..Answering The Pesky Question of Who Your Business Is

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    First, thanks for all the comments to everyone else.. some good stuff. And yes, I’d be crying along with you and Erica, then probably ranting, raving and reaching for the wine. ;-)

    Second, DAMN what a comment. LOVE just love the “I came, I saw, I left comment graffiti” remark; I sometimes cannot help from comment bombing (trying to cut back).. but I feel you; plenty of times I read and can’t help but comment, even if it’s not the ‘right’ site.

    Some of my best and/or favorite posts have been rants, just had something on my mind, picked a side and went with it. I’m never sure I have enough sometimes, experience or research. Now something like ‘style’ – preferences for blogs, comments, Twitter – I’m cool calling my own shots and why at times I’d recommend those to others.

    On the good vs. bad, mileage will vary. Thinking more about it.. it’s what we’ve opted to write, it will feel personal. Like your idea of a ‘love tap’.. be fine w/ a friend letting me know a post was kinda weaksauce, give helpful suggestions. FWIW.

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  3. [...] rocks.  Here are some cool bloggers that are a part of Mark’s community – Gini Dietrich, Davina Brewer, Kaarina Dillabough, Mark Harai, Ingrid Abboud, and Srini [...]

  4. [...] Here are some cool bloggers that are a part of Mark’s community – Gini Dietrich, Davina Brewer, Kaarina Dillabough, Mark Harai, Ingrid Abboud, and Srini [...]

  5. Hi Davina,

    I think there is different ways to disagree. When I don’t agree with a point in a post ( I rarely disagree with an ENTIRE post) I will ask a question in my comment to lead the author towards my way of thinking.

    When we write and post, we are asking for others to contribute their views on our post. Unless you are Seth Godin, this is what comments are for after all. I agree with Mark S. 80% of comments on a blog are usually positive because people who hang out there agree with you. You don’t find a lot of people who hate burgers in fast food joints.

    People who comment care about what we write, so they should be encouraged. As you point out Marcus did a beautiful job with his post on BWENY. Some blogs are like private social clubs and scare outsiders, or even people who disagree away. The online lynching is quite common when someone dares to disagree with the author, the tribe of commenters will usually come down hard on that person.

    Keeping an open space for discussion is what it is all about.
    John Falchetto recently posted..Relationships at Blog World New York

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    Well said John. I joke that I ‘soften the bad news’ by leading with what I agree in a post, before tackling what I don’t – like you, I seldom disagree with a whole post. I try to give valid reasons for why I disagree and try to do so in a way that’s both professional and helpful.

    People who comment and read comments do care. I’ve read blog posts and stories – all kinds of subjects – and often it’s the thoughtfulness of the comments, even when disagreeing that has impressed me the most, that people will put in that kind of time. I’ll remind myself of that next time someone disagrees or critiques me, it’s because they care. Thanks.

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    Shakirah Dawud Reply:

    You’re right, John. Was at Kaarina Dillabough’s site on Friday, where she was talking trust factor online, and I think as you said, that since so many of us are together because care/like/admire each other, that trust factor should come in as well. I observe and interact with a lot of the people who visit me more or less regularly, and I know they’re not looking for an excuse to be nasty. So if they say something that points out a flaw of mine, I know I’ll have to accept it as a love tap, not a knock-down.
    Shakirah Dawud recently posted..Answering The Pesky Question of Who Your Business Is

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  6. Bill Dorman says:

    For the most part the social media crowd I’m in seems to be pretty much a lovefest; nobody has been malicious or mean. There are a few of your commentors above who I actively engage with who will definitely speak their mind (you included) and I appreciate that.

    Here’s my million dollar question (and especially since I saw Marianne subscribed to 200). For the most part I think the general consensus is if it smells really bad you will just scrape your shoe and walk away, especially if it’s a friend. But with all us so actively engaged with one another if you miss stopping by my place how do I know if the material was marginal and not much interest level OR if you get so busy it’s just natural to get lost in the shuffle at times? Does it even matter?

    I try not to be quid pro quo; I do go by some posts and comment there and they have never stepped foot in my house and probably never will. I see them out and about and we hang at the same places, but I’m realistic in knowing you only have so much time. It might get to a point that I take care of the people who come by my house first and the others might have to fall by the wayside.

    If I disagree with something you say I will say it in a respectful manner; if I have nothing to add with what you have written, whether it’s good or bad I might pass on commenting.

    Any of this make any sense?
    Bill Dorman recently posted..Do you have a defining moment

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    Marianne Worley Reply:

    You’re right Bill. If I write what I think is a decent post, but it actually stinks, how will I know if no one gives honest feedback? I guess an even better question is this: Do we WANT 100% honest feedback? Or perhaps: Can we HANDLE 100% honest feedback without feeling personally slighted?

    I’m definitely not quid pro quo. I start at the top of my list in Google Reader, scan through the posts and eliminate the ones I’m not interested in, no matter who wrote them. (For example, if you write a post about how social media is like ice hockey, I’ll probably skip it.) Then I go back to the top of the list to read the posts. Sometimes the posts I comment on are from people I connect with regularly, and sometimes not.

    But if you do decide that you want my honest feedback on something, be prepared. I’m a ruthless editor with a drawer full of red pens! ;-)
    Marianne Worley recently posted..Isn’t Your Blog Community Just Another Clique

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    Ok.. it’s a little off topic but my blog, my rules. Can’t handle the truth!!! This Few Good (creative) Men riff popped in my head, makes me laugh. http://youtu.be/gYEf8XZKlUU

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    Marianne Worley Reply:

    That is too funny! I hadn’t seen that before. I will admit, I do that Jack Nicholson impression whenever the opportunity arises: “Tell me the truth, does my hair look OK?” “You want the truth? You can’t handle the truth!”
    Marianne Worley recently posted..Why You Shouldn’t Put Out Fires at Work

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    Stumbled across it.. when I stumbled across something else. YouTube is an evil black hole of time suck, yet it can be time well wasted. ;-)

    Bill Dorman Reply:

    I think I’m leaning toward someone saying “what a smelly piece of crap Dorman, than nothing at all”. I would like to think if I don’t see you at my place it’s because you got caught down the rabbit hole chasing something else.

    Now if it got to be where I was really putting out weak, unreadable material time after time and only my mother was showing up then I might take the hint.

    I liken it to genealogy research which I’ve done a little of. Once I got off the direct Dorman line it can start taking you into many, many different directions. Not that I don’t love the Dorman’s, but there are other interesting family members as well.

    Does that make any sense?
    Bill Dorman recently posted..Do you have a defining moment

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    Marianne Worley Reply:

    Got it: If you ever write a “smelly piece of crap,” you want me to tell you it sucks straightaway… ;-)
    Marianne Worley recently posted..The Truth About Typos and Why You Keep Missing Them

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    You sir are a riot and a gentleman. Well-played Bill.

    I’ve seen malicious and mean, not even talking Huffington Post and Yahoo “News” and now that they have their own comment system, Mashable seems to be free-for-all of lunacy and snark. Places like ProBlogger or CopyBlogger, maybe a few other bigger sites that routinely get 100 comments, I’ll see critiques on the writing, comments about how the post barely covered the topic, didn’t fit the headline, people getting on each other about this and that. Sometimes it is professional and well-intended; others not so much.

    If the material isn’t relevant – good or bad or good that I have to ferret out on my own – that’s what sends me packing. I read less of the likes of some PR and SM bloggers, not b/c they aren’t ‘good’ so much as they aren’t good for me and my audience. It’s too academic; too much bluster hiding behind buzzwords and code speak; or it can be too basic, a post designed more for SEO and attracting clients than discussion; too far above my SMB pay grade to be scalable; they’re less social per MY style and I’ve found others that were and there’s only so much time.

    It all makes sense, what you’re saying; I like my friends, try to support them when I can. Sometimes that’s silence, sometimes a comment, sometimes disagreeing with them on this or that, sometimes it’s a helpful suggestion of “this was a good idea, like to see your thoughts on …”

    Hmm.. really thinking if certain bloggers notice ‘less’ of my in their comments and Twitter. Do THEY notice or care? Now thinking about it, as I WOULD notice if some folks fell by the wayside, would miss them. I’d probably have to send out a search, maybe even a small reward. Wanted: Invisible Blogging Commenter. Last scene heckling Gini Dietrich, possibly disguised as The Sales Lion. Proceed with caution or just send him this way. ;-)

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    Bill Dorman Reply:

    Can you see me now? You my dear are stuck w/ me I’m araid………
    Bill Dorman recently posted..Do you have a defining moment

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    Bill Dorman Reply:

    afraid……….oops……see my reply……..:)
    Bill Dorman recently posted..Do you have a defining moment

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    I see you alright. And knew what you meant.

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  7. I am never afraid to let someone know that I disagree with them but the question is whether it is a good use of my time. Sometimes there is no point to it because it is regarding a topic that we aren’t going to see eye to eye on.

    It also depends on whether I think that the topic is subjective. If the post is about chocolate than there is not much that I can say other than it is not well written or poorly researched. And there is usually no point in doing either.

    I have written quite a few posts on politics and religion so some of those conversations have gotten quite heated. It generally doesn’t serve me well to engage in some of those.

    But like Mark said, time is the biggest influence in what I do.
    Jack @ TheJackB recently posted..The Words We Write

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    Time – and is it something I care about enough to use my time? – is a big on Jack. I wish I were better at scanning posts, to make that quick assessment. I know what you mean about engaging in some discussions not serving you well; that post of Marcus’.. it got into feminism and politics a bit and I declined to touch some of that is it wouldn’t do anyone any favors. Subjective debates? Cases when there’s no point but to agree to disagree? I’ve been sucked into those.. eventually had to call it quits, stop putting time into lost causes. Appreciate your thoughts.

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  8. [...] to protect my accuracy just in case there is a rush on commenting on it. Between Ingrid, Bill and Davina anything is [...]

  9. Mark Harai says:

    Love this Davina:

    1) being open to discussion and debate so that I can learn things of value that help me be a better professional and 2) doing the same for my community.

    Count me in ma’am…

    Cheers to that!

    And I hope we never get in an disagreement… You’re way to smart!!!
    Mark Harai recently posted..Entrepreneur Series- Time Management Is Essential For Business Success

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    I kinda hope we do disagree once in a while.. and YOU set me straight, Mark. ;-) I consider many of the blogs I read part of my community and whether they come here or not, I hope those bloggers feel the same. I’ll try to bring what I can, which at the end of the day is.. me.

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    Mark Harai Reply:

    And it’s pretty dang awesome too ;)
    Mark Harai recently posted..Entrepreneur Series- Time Management Is Essential For Business Success

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  10. Mark Harai says:

    Hi Davina – I only have so much time in a day – I value my time very much. I choose to expend my energy in positive forward motion; this has always led to getting things done, accomplishing my goals and having the kind of mindset I excel with.

    - I don’t care if you agree with me or not, neither feeds my kids nor put money in the bank for their future. As they say, opinions are like A… everybody has one. However, very few are creating value ($$$) with the time they invest in arguing.

    - If your post sucks, I don’t have time to write you that it sucks… I just click out and move on to the next.

    - If I don’t have anything good to say or contribute, I’m certainly not going to waste time trying to figure out how to be a douchebag. It’s a waste of my time that could have been invested doing something productive.

    The things that really matter to me and in no particular order are:

    - being helpful
    - contributing value to others
    - building value for my businesses
    - being a good friend
    - taking care of my family
    - getting shit done

    Everything else doesn’t really matter.
    Mark Harai recently posted..Entrepreneur Series- Time Management Is Essential For Business Success

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    Some people don’t have to figure out how to be douchebags, it just comes naturally. ;-)

    I hear you Mark, it’s very much about what WILL and what will NOT matter to my day. Or yours, when I comment. I don’t want to waste your time, you don’t want to waste mine. For me, that means 1) being open to discussion and debate so that I can learn things of value that help me be a better professional and 2) doing the same for my community. Looking back at the post and its title (sorta missed the boat there) I still think there is value to debate, to discussion. As a guest in someone else’s blog I always, always want to contribute as much knowledge, value, humor and wisdom as I can.. just sometimes it might be in the form of professional disagreement or criticism. FWIW.

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    Bill Dorman Reply:

    Speaking of A*******, oh hey Mark, didn’t see you standing there……:)
    Bill Dorman recently posted..Do you have a defining moment

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    Mark Harai Reply:

    LOL! You crack me up Bill… Nice to bump into you here :)
    Mark Harai recently posted..Entrepreneur Series- Time Management Is Essential For Business Success

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    You’re funny dude.

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  11. I am subscribed to more than 200 blogs in Google Reader. Fewer than 10 are daily posters, but it’s still a lot of reading to do. If the post topic does not interest me, I move on. When I read a post, I usually take one of these actions: 1) Immediately comment; 2) Come back later to comment after thinking a bit; 3) Skip commenting because I don’t have anything to add to the conversation; or 4)Stop reading at some point in the post if I decide I don’t like it after all: maybe it’s going in a direction that doesn’t interest me, the writing is low quality and disorganized, or there are just too many spelling and grammar errors.

    If I have something to say, agreement or disagreement, I will say it. I love reading posts and comments with a lively but respectful conversation. After all, life isn’t all cherry blossoms and apple pie. But if it’s just a quality issue, I move on. When it’s someone I know, I really want to say, “I’d be happy to review and edit some posts for you.” But I’d hate to hurt someone’s feelings…

    Yep, I’m a gutless softie! ;-)
    Marianne Worley recently posted..The Day My Dad Didn’t Make it Home From Work

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    Topic and content I think play a big part into the lively debates I’ve seen, but so does the community, everyone being a professional that adds to a discussion. The more diverse an audience of readers, I sometimes see more debate and disagreement in comments.

    I’m a soft touch too Marianne, and YES to #4. There are times I’d love to edit, clean up or just reformat some posts, improve section and paragraph breaks, help make the post flow better. Another step I have to take in my reading: rereading. If it takes too much effort on my part to read and reread to get what point you’re trying to make, that’s usually a click away sans comment moment. FWIW.

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    Bill Dorman Reply:

    Please go down and see my reply to Ms D’s post; I would like your thoughts based on what you said.
    Bill Dorman recently posted..Do you have a defining moment

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  12. Hey Davina, I’m with you – if I disagree, then I’ll say so, but that’s not the same as not liking the post… in that case I’ll just click away. :)
    Danny @ Firepole Marketing recently posted..High Impact Entrepreneurship- Confessions- Milestones- and Focusing On What Matters

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    Big difference between disagreeing and disliking, Danny. Wonder how many of my posts people have just clicked away, and if it’s both reasons. Something I’m mulling over, thanks.

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  13. Nancy Davis says:

    Hi Davina,

    I am fairly new, and I try my best everyday to post really good content. If someone disagrees, that is fine, as long as everyone is respectful.

    If something I post is not to your liking, just don’t comment. I was raised with the concept that “if you have nothing nice to say, don’t say anything” and I believe in that. I am not here to fight with anyone.

    Anyone can have an off day. I wrote a post about a month ago called “Twue Love is For Suckers” and no one got the Princess Bride references. Oh well. Some posts fall flat.
    Nancy Davis recently posted..This Used To Be My Playground

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    I thought I got the Princess Bride joke, or maybe I didn’t say so. Anyway Nancy…

    We can’t all be ‘on’ 100% of the time. But I also know I’ve read some ho-hum posts to which I could have added valuable, constructive comments and yes criticism, but didn’t. Was taught to stand my ground, stick up for myself and my opinions and yes, not to say anything if I can’t keep it nice and polite, respectful. Reading the comments on posts like Marcus’ I just long for more and am on something of a ‘healthy disagreement’ kick of late. FWIW.

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  14. “I don’t know or care or can’t decide. If it doesn’t move my furniture, no need to mix it up. Rants aside, confrontation is not in my nature.”

    I seriously laughed out loud at “If it doesn’t move my furniture…” Jeeza-louisa, that’s funny. And, so true. Why in the world would you want to call someone out in a public forum. We all try really hard, well, I do anyway, to write good content. I cringe when I think I put something out there that was ‘off’ or as Bill D says, smells funny. To have my blogging community say something? Well, that would be brilliantly honest and after I stopped crying, much appreciated. Seriously, I would want someone to email me or pull me aside and say, “honey, where’s your mojo?” rather than have them say this really sucked on my blog.

    Great post, Davina! And I mean that in the most sincere way. I’m not one for just patting you on the back. If I like it, I leave a comment. If I don’t. I don’t. Now, I need to write a new blog post…Sunday is over.
    Erica Allison recently posted..Sundays are for Sharing- Meet Laura Neiheisel

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    Hee. You know Erica, one person’s ‘hot button’ may be ice cold to someone else. If we’re debating the best conference in college football, then I’ll get on my SEC soapbox.. and you’re free to take a nap if you don’t care. ;-)

    I’m also loathe to ‘call someone out’ in public. I’ll call out an ISSUE, say this is wrong or that is an unholy mess of suck, but IDK.. I don’t critique the person, I don’t dissect blog posts on grammar and spelling, on writing style.. and I’ve read comments that do that. I’ve also discussed the private DM or aside, and like you would probably react with crying, ranting, teeth gnashing. But once I calmed down, I’d be appreciative of the concern and feedback. Just trying to think of professionalism, courtesy of not saying anything vs. the possible greater benefit of saying something, even if it’s well-intended and helpful criticism. FWIW.

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    Shakirah Dawud Reply:

    “Well, that would be brilliantly honest and after I stopped crying, much appreciated.” It’s the crying part, Erica. That’s the hot button. I’m not a crybaby, but I think that would make me cry, and so… I avoid “stuff.” Rants are always fun because most everyone loves how hilarious they can be, even if they don’t agree with it all. But serious stuff… this is the thing. It’s a business. We reeeeeeeeaally don’t want to be called out as “wrong” about anything, unless we’re calling ourselves out (which is always fun and self-righteous, right?) in front of readers who could be clients or referral sources. But at the same time, I’d love to be put right–just not in public.
    Shakirah Dawud recently posted..Answering The Pesky Question of Who Your Business Is

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  15. Here’s my thing Davina– I try to focus on positive…always. But sometimes, as Bran says, stuff just ‘sucks’. That’s when I draw the line and walk away– no biggie.

    If I strongly disagree, I’ll often times say so. This doesn’t happen much, but I’m not afraid to disagree with a friend, and I wish people disagreed with me more often because I don’t want people to think they can’t.

    And thanks for the kind words regarding the now ‘book’ that was written on my blog about the blog world experience ;-) It has been interesting keeping everything in line and on par with the standards I’ve set for TSL, but overall I’ve been amazed that people can talk about such a polarizing topic and do it civilly. It’s very, very refreshing actually.

    See you tomorrow Davina in the ATL!!!

    Marcus
    Marcus Sheridan-The Sales Lion recently posted..Sara Benincasa- Civility- and Final Thoughts on Bloggate 2011

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    I draw that line, walk away too quickly sometimes Marcus. I see those ‘contrarian’ comments sometimes and think, “damn.. who tweaked your corn flakes this morning?” But there are times that dissenting opinion or critical comment does move things forward; even just a criticism of the writing can open the door for improvement. When some posts with great headlines but less than stellar content get lots of RTs but few comments, I think it’s a tell tale sign.

    Like you, I wish I’d get a little more disagreement or healthy discussion at times. Yesterday Mark Schaefer and I had a nice little back and forth on his blog, not totally disagreeing but a good, thoughtful exchange. Which brings me to your post… THAT was UNREAL how smart and yes CIVIL it was. A few times I shied away from the political or controversial as yes, a couple comments pushed some buttons… but I didn’t want to put my personal bias in there too much and derail the post. For that many people to read, weigh in AND read and reply to others, it speaks well of your blog and those who commented.

    See you tomorrow.. and it is so cool to be able to say that. :-)

    [Reply]

    Bill Dorman Reply:

    Civilly…..you should hear what they are saying behind your back; even though you are rich and famous now, good thing I’ve got you covered………..just sayin’…..:)
    Bill Dorman recently posted..Do you have a defining moment

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  16. Brankica says:

    Hey Davina, love the fact that you put my photo in the post. I mean I know I am not always right, but I am never wrong either :)

    I want to say that I don’t call out a bad post. I will not comment on it most of the time but I will not say it sucks.

    There was a blog I used to read that had daily posting frequency. With so much writing the content started to suck honestly. Then they tried mixing in guest posts to be able to write more and some guest posts sucked. So I stopped reading it.

    Recently I felt too busy to write good post so I started posting less. And I will do so when I feel like it again. Cause there is nothing worse than knowing your own post sucks (and yes, I know when it does) and still reading people commenting how great it is.
    Brankica recently posted..Social Saturday 9 List those Tweeps

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    Marcus Sheridan-The Sales Lion Reply:

    Bran, that was cool, you managed to integrate ‘sucks’ 4 times there :))) But let me assure you, your comment didn’t ‘suck’ at all ;-)

    I’ve noticed that sometimes people post everyday and they’ll put out sub par traffic simply because they’re ‘supposed to’. What the heck? Why? It makes no sense to me. Kinda takes the whole passion thing and throws it out the door.

    Marcus
    Marcus Sheridan-The Sales Lion recently posted..Sara Benincasa- Civility- and Final Thoughts on Bloggate 2011

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    I think many folks, myself topping the list, relate to that photo Brankica. ;-)

    I don’t say ‘this post sucks’ or ‘I so totally disagree’ that often – and maybe should a little more. IDK.. there was one post I so struggled at the keyboard, not just b/c the ‘list’ was kinda fluffy, light and lame but one of the items rankled some inner feminist memes. I couldn’t add a helpful, supportive comment w/out launching into some diatribe.. so I didn’t.

    I don’t blog daily and am STILL terrified of cranking out filler and sucky fluff every time I hit publish. Is this the day someone will disagree with me? That’s cool if it helps the discussion, makes it interesting… or maybe I am just flat out wrong. Is this a day that a reader will call out a lackluster post? If so, maybe I agree… and promise to do better with a “they can’t all be GRAND SLAM home runs, sometimes it’s a bloop single” apology.

    Then there’s reading posts elsewhere, some ‘guru’ or thought leader has nothing but a chorus of “this was great” comments.. and I reread the post 3 times b/c there was nothing to it. IDK… just thinking about it, how certain blog posts can spark incredible debate and disagreements, how it does add something to the mix. FWIW.

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    Bill Dorman Reply:

    So what does that mean?
    Bill Dorman recently posted..Do you have a defining moment

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    Jayme Soulati Reply:

    I would like to know how to pronounce your first name — Bran-kicha or with a hard ending? Thank you!
    Jayme Soulati recently posted..Does Your Blog Make Commenters Comfy

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    Brankica Reply:

    C in my name is pronounced like a letter you don’t have in English but it is the closest to TS.

    I guess I would try to explain as Brah-nkeetsah, if that makes sense, lol.
    Brankica recently posted..Paperli Why you should never miss the Blogging Star Daily

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    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    I’m glad Jayme asked that, been curious myself.

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    Shakirah Dawud Reply:

    Me, too, thanks for helping us out with that, Jayme and Bran. And Bran–I so hope you weren’t talking about my blog! A few months ago I started blogging on empty, and before I could really embarrass myself, I just stopped, and started pulling in guest posters every now and then (but, um, those posts weren’t all bad, if I do say so m’self!). Otherwise, I kept my fingers off publish until I was more sure of myself, and I personally think every blogger should. Just wanted to let you know I relate!
    Shakirah Dawud recently posted..Answering The Pesky Question of Who Your Business Is

  17. Jenn Whinnem says:

    When I don’t agree, I’ll say so (just ask Jayme). But if I think the post just overall stinks, no, I am just not going to say anything. Too touchy.

    That someecard applies to me so hard I’m kind of embarrassed!

    [Reply]

    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    Those cards are ridiculously on point Jenn, esp. now that I’ve discovered the user ones. Alas some are too offensive to use but damn are they funny sometimes.

    It really does depend.. on the blog, the blogger, the post, the subject, and how strongly I feel about it. It’ll depend on my time and how many other comments there are debating things. That’s disagreeing. But the number of times I’ve read a story or post and thought, “Meh. There’s no meat on these bones, WTH 218 RTs?” that’s when check myself. It is touchy, why I don’t always do it.

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  18. What a spot on post. The commenting love fest becomes a fabulous exercise in drawing boundaries; commenting thrice and moving on; deleting the commentluv and just not engaging any more b/c it’s not your blog and you shouldn’t care; knowing when you’re driving link love or LiveFyre points (in my case and I readily admit I’m doing it, but not all the time…yeah, right, Jayme); and more.

    We’ve spoken about the clique that ensues when commenters become buds and others feel left out, put out, annoyed, etc. Wasn’t that the point of blogging — to get more comments? And, yet, are commenters becoming a dirty word? Should we have no comments and just opine to lurkers?

    Pray, tell. As a blogger I enjoy the community that’s being created and I’ve earned that via blood, sweat and tears, literally. It’s taken awhile and I just recently enjoyed the highest number of comments on this post below. (Thanks for ping back.)

    I’m going to be addressing this more in a post soon…not sure anything should change…and yet there’s an answer brewing I don’t have. Do you?
    Jayme Soulati recently posted..Does Your Blog Make Commenters Comfy

    [Reply]

    Davina K. Brewer Reply:

    Yes Jayme, good question: How much is too much? Are you adding something or is it just about the links, or is it just about getting the last word, making sure they know that you read their reply and when does it end? Don’t think you must opine to lurkers and I’ve read so many comment threads from people I really don’t know, I am not sure I’ve ever felt excluded. It’s more a case of if subject matter goes over my head, or when I do respond but then don’t get any replies from the blogger.. that’s when I feel left out.

    The post itself plays a big part; something like Marcus’ is sure to get a lot. Brankica at Live Your Love did a post interviewing other bloggers, still getting read and comments (nothing more than we like than talking about each other and ourselves ;-) wonk wonk). Some of mine have gotten a little of the “LOL” type banter and replies, but then somehow.. the discussion goes right back to something on topic, or prompts a few new ones. Like I said, some posts are the exception.

    Then there’s fluff and filler and being a ‘friend’ so we maybe comment anyway, or RT or don’t write that somewhat critical comment, catch them next time. Even when it’s not a friend’s blog, I’ll check myself so as to not be rude or don’t have anything constructive to add. IDK.. I was just thinking about this as there are many sides to this, thanks so much for helping me think some more.

    [Reply]

    Marcus Sheridan-The Sales Lion Reply:

    Good questions Jayme. I say this– do what ever makes you freaking happy. You be the judge. I like your blog and I like what you’re doing– and you’re a great commenter too!

    Marcus
    Marcus Sheridan-The Sales Lion recently posted..Sara Benincasa- Civility- and Final Thoughts on Bloggate 2011

    [Reply]

    Jayme Soulati Reply:

    Hey, Marcus, thank you! I know when a post rocks b/c I feel the passion in the writing and emotion of it all. I was posting daily and felt that pressure, and I knew a lot of it was trash, especially now reading the archives.

    And, every blogger must go through this; it’s like chutes and ladders but the end game is elusive! The pot of gold just keeps moving slightly out of reach b/c there’s so much more to learn.

    So many don’t have the patience; and if you don’t want to throw in the towel 1-2/month, you’re abnormal. (Thanks for the encouragement!)
    Jayme Soulati recently posted..Does Your Blog Make Commenters Comfy

    [Reply]

    Bill Dorman Reply:

    Lurkers are cool…..
    Bill Dorman recently posted..Do you have a defining moment

    [Reply]

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