A Social Media Matching Game

Since I’ve been all whiney lately – not to mention the fact that last week some JV team stole LSU’s uniforms and showed up in New Orleans instead?! – W.T.H. – I thought I’d have a little silly fun before making resolutions about changing the world and finding more time for naps.

Grade Your Self

A matching quiz made of my own version of Top Social Media Lessons, a few things I’ve learned over these many months.

Rules. Read a statement, decide which network or social activity comes to mind. Answers may be used more than once; there may be more than one answer per statement. Have fun.

1. People with cameras cannot be trusted.
2. People with video cameras.. should be run away from, like a bat outta hell.
3. Douglas Adams is right: “The problem with trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.”
4. She who laughs last didn’t get the joke, or thinks you’re not funny.
5. Recruiters and personnel managers would make good spies. Or stalkers.
6. You can’t go to sleep, there is epic shit happening on the Internet. That’s probably WRONG!
7. People are full of crap.
8. The iPad is Evil.
9. spelchek iz yur Fiend, yet autocorrects are dangerously, inappropriately funny.
10. He who has 16 status updates and profile changes in 4 days is looking for a job.
11. Influence is all about bacon. And possibly harpsichord-playing kittens.
12. People will go gaga so they can unseat some random stranger at a local watering hole. Then announce it to a bunch of people who aren’t from there, never heard of the place and don’t care.
13. There’s a whole world out there of smart, funny, engaged people.

Answers. That could be wrong.

1. Facebook, Twitter, Flickr. (Are people are tagging nekid keg stand pics on G+ yet?) Cameras and smartphones should be banned anywhere there’s alcohol.
2. YouTube. Camera ban x 1,000.
3. “Privacy” settings. (Rube Goldberg Award to Facebook, now copying Google+.)
4. Twitter. Facebook.
5. LinkedIn. Facebook. Twitter. Hell, maybe even FF or some other ‘secret’ profile waiting to bite your promotion chances in the ass.
6. AOTB.
7. Blogs, Twitter, Facebook, Yahoo! News comments, anything dealing with politics.
8. Flipboard, Angry Birds, which I realize ain’t social media but it is the digital equivalent of crack, Scrabble, FB, Twitter and all other distractions, right there at my fingertips. Evil.
9. Failblog. Lamebook. Damn iPhone/iPad autocorrect.
10. LinkedIn.
11. Klout. YouTube.
12. Foursquare.
13. Tweetchats, blogs, LinkedIn, Book of the Face and Google Extra.

Grade Yourself:

0-5 points: You don’t even have a Facebook or Twitter account, wonder WTH others would broadcast their lives. Congratulations, you’ve probably inhaled fresh oxygen since 2008.
6-10 points: Not too bad, but it’s not like you can call yourself a guru. [NSFW] No wait, it’s social media – you totally can.
11-15 points: You’ve got the blog, knoweth how to comment, work the nets. Book deals and speaking engagements lurk in your future. However, your favorite gadget is a permanent appendage; you keep forgetting that when you take a shower, which is getting expensive.
16 points or higher: You can rock four tweetchats while reviewing Google Analytics and calculating the ROI of your latest digital campaign. One handed. The other hand is holding a glass of wine. The social media is strong with you. It’s also possible you ignored a friend request because you didn’t recognize the name. Of your spouse, BFF, progeny, or cool Aunt Sally.

Feel free to add your own, share your score. I’m over the top and need to remind myself, that big bright thing in the sky, it’s the sun.

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